My Little Ducky

One fateful day, three years ago, I was sitting inside the classroom that housed people gathering there with a common goal: to apply for a spot in the school paper staff. I had been in the school paper the year before, and the year before that. But every year, we've had a change of moderator. And standing before us - on that fateful day, three years ago - was the new one.

Around me were students from all year levels, some of them I already knew and some I did not. One of them caught my eye. And to be honest, it was because - more than anything else - her fair complexion and the innocent expression on her face made her a notch prettier than all other girls in the room. It was the first time I saw her and it was clear to me that she was a newbie. She was very quiet and I've always liked quiet people because, as I have experienced, they always turn out to think more than those who speak more. I looked forward to working with her.

Some days later, after finding out that I made it into the staff, I found out that she'd rather join the school band instead. So, for the rest of the year, I wrote articles and poems and columns while she jammed with the rest of those musical geniuses. Even from behind the keyboard, she mesmerized me with more than just her smile. She played the instrument with such skill that I could never hope to match. But she had her stage and I had deadlines for my articles to chase. She would go on with her life and I would go on with mine. Oh, well...

Before the school year ended, my ambitions shot up a level. I filed my candidacy, taking aim for the position of Student Council President. Little did I know that she was also running to be their batch's year-level representative. Perhaps it was fated that I be late in choosing the running-mates I would have in my party. So I was left with the people whom neither of the two other parties' candidates for president had chosen. That included her.

For the early period of our room-to-room campaign, it was only I who spoke since my running-mates were all too shy to say anything. But later on, she asked me if I could allow her to say something as well. Well, of course, I let her. All that time, I had been looking for more concrete support from my party and finally there it was. By this time, however, the effects of her pretty face had worn off from me. And I hadn't seen her play on stage for quite a while already. I cared little for the fact that we would be working together.

She asked the students for something like hearing her out even if they weren't going to vote for her. It took me a while to notice that her audience, in fact, was not going to vote for her because she wasn't even talking to her batchmates. I truly regret that I didn't hear what she had to say that day - what someone felt so important to say to people who wouldn't even make any bearing on her political quest. I had been too absorbed in what I was going to say next to even listen to the support I had asked for.

Four out of the eight positions went to members of our party. The two of us would be working together in the Student Council.

It wasn't until the succeeding school year that I truly got to appreciate her. Yes, all those paragraphs you see above this one - they're just part of the introduction.

We started really talking to each other when she tried out for the school paper the second time. We were so glad with her work that we decided to put her in charge of the poetry section, that is, if she decided to pursue membership with us. Later on, deja vu struck as I found out that she was considering the band again. I didn't want to lose such a talent *again* and so I tried my best to talk her into joining the staff. My efforts paid off because she did. I was going to work with her both in the Student Council and in the School Paper. What else was there to keep us from interacting?

She introduced me to her friends, and though I had been in High School with them for only a year, I became closer to them than I did with any of my batchmates (she was one batch lower than me). I mingled with them for almost every recess and lunch time I had free. In one of our wacky times together, she and I worked out an imaginary family tree, dragging in the names of people we knew - students, and teachers, and administrators alike.

She put my name above hers...and designated me her 'Tatang'. I found it quite ironic...instead of somebody adopting her to be his child, she adopted somebody to be her father. Haha... and she chose that somebody to be me. While I was mostly flattered, that initial reaction had hints of feeling ridiculous. To think that I had feelings for her well over a year back...and then I would just find out that she would adopt me as her father. Really ironic...haha. But it's okay, I wouldn't have it any other way. And I've never regretted that we did that that day.

For some time I kept calling her 'My Princess' (fancying myself as a 'King'...haha). But I stopped calling her that when rumors spread that I had romantic feelings for her...which I did not, by the way (at least not anymore). She, however, had all the freedom in the world to keep calling me her 'tatang' until now. And I'm not sure at what point in that long expanse of time did I begin to take it upon myself to live up to the title of being a father figure...her father figure. But I'm certain that I did.

It wasn't until later that year that she discovered the joys of using the word 'ducky', which has grown to be her trademark...her 'signature word', if there's such a thing. If there has not been such a thing, then let me announce that there is now, haha, thanks to her. She seems to use it in synonymity with 'happy' or anything desirable. She also uses it to refer to persons she likes. You really don't have to know the exact meaning of the word when she uses it. You just understand it, like one of those words of a language that cannot be translated into other languages. I, however, have found a special meaning of the word that I just discovered when I began writing this paragraph. I'm surprised at how appropriate it is for the title I gave this post.

As I got to know her better, I couldn't help but admire her more. She's a genius, I tell you. And she doesn't brag about it...so I'll brag about it for her instead...hehe. For so many of the things that I learn, I find out that she had learned them earlier and she doesn't flaunt them at other people's faces. It's like, for so many of the races I ran in life, she had been close to the finish lines all along waiting for me just so that we could cross the finish lines together. We have so much in common - she and I. Just how fitting is it that we consider each other father and daughter? For, surely, a father should know that he could learn as much from his daughter as she could from him.

You would rarely (if at all) ever find a combination of her smarts and her innocence in other people. Her Christian values fill her with love more than anything else. Her thoughts and her person constitute what I value in servant-leadership. So before I graduated, I helped convince our moderator in the School Paper to make her Editor-in-Chief. Sure enough, it worked.

Now, three years since we first met, my little ducky is swimming in troubled waters where I had been before. She now faces the tribulation of losing *once* close friends...who are not only indifferent to her now, but in fact, have negative feelings towards her.

Yes, my little ducky, I've been there...when I decided to go against our Alma Mater's corrupt CAT system, of which many of my friends had been part of. Friends with whom I shared some of the happiest moments of my life called me all kinds of names: quitter, traitor, back-stabber. But I held on to one inspiration who had also been called all kinds of names: crazy (Mark 3:21), blasphemer (Matthew 26:65, Mark 14:64, Luke 5:21, John 10:33, John 10:36), prince of demons (Matthew 9:34, Matthew 12:24, Mark 3:22, Luke 11:15).

I know I don't need to tell you this anymore since you're already doing it anyway, but I would just like to remind you to look to him for inspiration. He preached what he believed to be true no matter the cost. And though people spurned him once, they pray to him now. We might not be so lucky in terms of recognition, but the point is we know what is true in our respective contexts. And we hold firmly to that truth...no matter the cost.

My little ducky, know that I am with you in these troubled waters. It's my turn now to wait for you so that we may cross the finish line of this particular race together. My little ducky, feel the grown wings of your daddy duckies wrapping themselves around you...yes, daddy duckies, all three of us: me, your biological father, and Him.

And so I would like to end this blog entry with a song...

"Rubber Ducky"(from Sesame Street, as edited by me)

Rubber Ducky, you're the one,
You make bathtime LIFE lots of fun,
Rubber Ducky, I'm awfully fond of you;

Woo woo be doo

Rubber Ducky, joy of joys,
When I squeeze DADDY CALLS you, you make noise KNOW HIS VOICE!
Rubber Ducky, you're my very best friend, it's true!

Doo doo doo doo, doo doo

Every day when I make my way to the tubby THROUGH THIS WORLD
I find a little fella who's Cute and yellow and chubby I THINK OF MY DAUGHTER, THAT CUTE AND DUCKY, LITTLE GIRL

Rub-a-dub-a-dubby!

Rubber Ducky, you're so fine I'M HERE, OF COURSE
And I'm lucky that you're mine I'M YOURS
Rubber ducky, I'm awfully fond of you.

Every day when I make my way to the tubby THROUGH THIS WORLD
I find a little fella who's Cute and yellow and chubby I THINK OF MY DAUGHTER, THAT CUTE AND DUCKY, LITTLE GIRL
Rubber Ducky, you're so fine
And I'm lucky that you're mine
Rubber ducky, I'm awfully fond of -
Rubber ducky, I'd like a whole pond of -
Rubber ducky I'm awfully fond of you!

Doo doo, be doo